I once read a saying that went:

The flutter of a butterfly's wing in New Mexico can cause a hurricane in China

"Surely that can't be true?" I remember thinking to myself.

Of course, later on I learnt that the saying comes from The Butterfly Effect, part of Chaos Theory, whereby small changes in initial conditions can lead to drastic end results. And as implausible as it sounds, it basically states that things are interconnected, and event A happening at the right point in time and space would lead to event B.

A series of recent events got me thinking about the phrase, and it made me realise that sometimes the most important things are very often the smallest things that are often overlooked or passed off as insignificant.

And frequently, it is only when we look back that we find that those moments are the ones that either matter the most, or teach us the most.
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Example 1

Recently I was on my way home in the midst of a heavy downpour and as usual, I had forgotten to bring an umbrella. And on the route home, there is a particular crossing between the neighbourhood centre and the estate that often catches non-umbrella holders off guard, as it's the only part of the route that is unsheltered.

Thankfully, my mum agreed to fetch me and I was so happy to see her emerging with 2 umbrellas that I quickly snapped a picture (I don't know why...maybe I felt very loved and wanted to appreciate her?). Whilst waiting for her to cross the road, she noticed someone else who was waiting to cross but who had no umbrella, and offered her one as they crossed to where I was standing.

After crossing over, my mum offered me the umbrella, and as we were about to cross, she noticed an elderly lady struggling to open her umbrella as she was carrying many grocery bags. Without pausing she helped the lady to carry her bags and the three of us proceeded to cross together.

(Yes, if you are wondering, yours truly here was simply a bystander and clearly has much to learn in terms of offering help)

Halfway through, a gesture that warmed my heart was when the old lady looked out for me and motioned for me not to cross when there was an oncoming car. As my mum was looking out for her, she was in turn looking out for me, and we all got over dry and safe.

Then, there was a family of three stranded at the shelter, and once again my mum busted out her umbrellas and proceeded to fetch them over.

This incident taught me a few things:
1. Kindness is never overrated
2. I have much to learn from my mum
3. Small gestures have a big impact

Happy to see my mum emerging from The Promised Land aka the sheltered path home

My mum making her 2nd trip over whilst sheltering a family over

Fun question:

How many of these quotes have you heard/read?

"Choose happiness"
"Do what makes you happy"
"Nothing is worth it if you are not happy"

For a very long time I used to agree with them, and even espoused them (with good intentions). But now, I'm beginning to think that perhaps things are not that simple.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in being optimistic and all. But sometimes I wonder if all the focus on being happy is making us...sadder?

It's almost as though it's a crime to be unhappy and we must avoid it at all costs, and this pressure is causing us to react in ways that can deter a lot of self-growth in many areas of our lives.

Take for example the topic of careers. There are so many articles on how Millennials have a bad rep for being job-hoppers. Terms like 'quarter-life crisis', or 'dissatisfaction' etc...have all been used to explain the phenomenon. And honestly, that was truly what I felt in my early working years.

So much discontent and a general sense of unhappiness. So I quit.
Do what makes you happy right?

But was I happy even after quitting? Honestly...no.

I think we live in a time where we move on too quickly in the search for happiness, but we are unwilling to dig deep and put in the effort or go through what is painful. Once the going gets tough, we pack our bags for the next train out, looking in search for the next thing, and the next thing, and the next. Anything to quench our thirst for happiness, and yet at the end of the day, we end up tired, weary, and most of all - disappointed.

And this applies to relationships and so many other things as well. There's so much advice on how if someone is not making you happy then leave, or that a relationship should be one that makes you happy.

I once read a story (not sure on the authenticity) where they asked an old couple for the secret to their long marriage. Their answer?

'Well, we lived in a time where if something was broken, we fixed it, not throw it away".

Perhaps this is the reason behind so many divorces. We look to each other to be happy, always having that expectation but not being willing to do what's tough, what's necessary.

---

Before this sounds like a bash on happiness, I must say that in and of itself, there's nothing wrong with happiness. It's good, it's important, and certainly necessary.

But is our fixation on happiness causing us to downplay the importance of going and growing through pain? Is it causing us to focus so much on our own happiness and feeling good, that we forget that sometimes happiness is not a destination but a journey, and that journey can sometimes look like a lot of trouble?

As I look back on some things in my life, I realised that some of the happiest moments come after a time of some of the toughest moments.

And perhaps that's the secret to being truly happy - when you let go of the need to FEEL happy and realise that sometimes it's ok to not be ok, and to stop trying so hard to achieve that happiness you want. And to just face what you need to face and plow through - and then one day you will look back and realise that sometimes it's the ugly and not so nice things in life, that really taught you what it means to be happy, because you will appreciate those sweet moments so much more :)

Recently, I was in a grab ride with a particularly chatty driver.

Now, usually my default response would be just to engage in small talk and try to end the conversation because 1. I don't really like small talk 2. Sometimes you just want to zone out.

But somehow, I was particularly interested in the things he talked about, which deviated from the standard (politics, government, money etc) and I found that his perspective on life was quite refreshing.

The conversation somehow winded up on the topic of dreams, and he asked what I dreamed of doing as a child. Whilst I mentally ran through my long list of childhood fantasies, he said "I've always wanted to be a cab driver".

Naturally I was surprised. Firstly, here was someone who was living his dream (sort of) and how many of us can proudly say that? Secondly, being a driver, I would safely assume, is not number 1 on many people's lists of ideal career paths right?

When I asked him why, he said that ever since he saw the movie "Taxi", he was inspired to be a driver. I thought that was really cool. That he had a simply dream, inspired by a simple occurrence, and he was living his best life.

"What about you?"

"Erm...well, I've always wanted to write a book" I sheepishly admitted.

"Oh, go for it. I'm sure you can do it"

Talk about much faith. Haha.

But the conversation made me realise that very often, the dreams that we have get buried in the practicalities of life. In the daily humdrum of life and its demands on us, or from circumstances, it's so easy to get our dreams snuffed out.

And it's not even in a dramatic I have a dream but I have to give it up for something else that's greater manner, but almost as though we forget about these dreams simply because, we just stop dreaming. We let the fire in our hearts grow cold.

Of course it seems very simple to say "Chase your dreams", and very often even impractical. One of the oft said things to people as they start 'adulting' so to speak, is to stop dreaming, get your heads off the clouds and come back to Earth. Right?

I've always been torn between being an eternal optimist of hope, and yet the rationale side of me often tells me to settle. Settle down, be normal, fit in, and everything will be ok. But since when did being ok become okay?

Isn't it sad to look back at your life and go "Well, that was an okay life I guess."?

Have we let the fear of failing stop us from chasing our dreams? So much so that we don't even start?

Just some food for thought.

Maybe I will get started on that book after all ;)

I apologise for the lack of updates. I think I am going through a phase of writer's block where I can't seem to think of anything interesting to write about. 

I've always been an idealist. Or at least I think so.

I like to believe that people are fundamentally good, that things will work out fine, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if the tunnel turns out to be pretty long.

However, sometimes I wonder if it's time to pull my head down from the land of fluffy clouds and be a realist. Because I've been proven wrong by on so many occasions. People are not that nice after all, and no, things don't always work out fine. In fact, sometimes they suck pretty bad. Just look at the news headlines to see what I mean. Crime, death, complaints...what on earth is the world coming to?

So yes, my worldview has been rocked. But there is a higher way, thank God. To take our eyes of this world and look to him.

One of my favourite verses of all time is Romans 8:28:

I'm always thankful for a public holiday/long weekend. The recent Good Friday holiday held extra special meaning, as I was reminded of God's love and what Jesus did at Calvary. May I never forget how loved I am :')

The long weekend was a good opportunity for me to take a breather, relax and go out for some much needed exploration. I was randomly browsing through news when I saw an article on how there was a Hobbiton exhibit set-up at Changi airport! Ever since I caught the first Hobbit movie, I had fallen in love with the picturesque scenery and Bilbo Baggin's charming and quaint little cottage at Hobbiton.

I was thus thrilled at the news and immediately texted my  family to request a trip to the airport. However, upon reading the news, I realised the exhibit was ending on 5 April :O and I had only two days to visit the exhibit. Thankfully, my mum said we could go down on that very evening, and I was super excited.

After a delicious and satisfying dinner at the revamped food court at terminal 3, we trotted to the exhibit, and realised it was part of a Visit New Zealand showcase, which featured other well-known Kiwi exports such as the All Blacks. But of course, the highlight was the Hobbiton exhibit and Galdalf himself (ok, more like a figure made in his likeness).

I've always been fascinated with photographs and their ability to freeze time. 



That moment was gone the instant you snapped it, but somehow, that moment was also forever captured.

Life is but a series of ever changing moments, so be present in every one of them.